Gray Cross, egg tempera on calfskin parchment, 6 x 7 inches.
In between my last painting, which I wasn't happy with and you can see here, and this one, I rediscovered my love of Tantric painting, and it has changed the way I am approaching putting paint to surface. I had received the new book Tantra Song as a gift and spent many hours poring over the images, and then writing a blog post on them: "The Quiet Depth of Tantric Paintings". Just like the first time I saw these works, at the Drawing Center in 2004, I was inspired to try to somehow make them my own, copy them in some way. Back then they were what encouraged me to begin making small textiles for the wall, when all I'd done before were rugs for my house.
Last week, I wanted to actually paint those paintings; I wanted to possess them, to understand their making; I wanted to capture the deep calm, the quality of the essential, that I found in them. I took out a couple of pieces of parchment and sat there looking at them for a while, conscious that the Tantric artists took advantage of irregularities of surface. I tried to breath quietly, to become calm and quiet, to get close to the best of how I feel when I meditate. And I began to paint a blue circle, being as attentive to brush, the paint, the mark, as I could be. Then I felt the circle needed a companion square, so painted that. I approached the dark green rectangle with the same intense level of concentration, balancing it with a soft haze of red.
I then decided that I was going to paint on scraps of parchment left over from the stretching process; it would be like doing musical scales, practicing a little each day, reminding me of the feeling of quietly contemplating each shape.
After my little homages, I began this painting with a very different attitude. I felt that I'd become a little lazy, a little impatient, a little rushed. So now I slowed down, worked with smaller brushes, attempted to get more subtle shifts of form and color. None of this is for the sake of "realism" but in order to have a deeper relationship with each shape and each color that I paint. It is so that I pay attention.
Oh yes. I feel the cross. It is elevated from the page. I can only imagine how lively the actual painting is. Wow.
ReplyDeleteWonderful post Altoon.As an active yogi I am reminded of the very first thing I learned before doing one asana. Being mindful, or as you say paying attention. The small thoughtful steps you took before you started your cross painting are very much like the small movements one does in yoga before entering the actual pose. Yoga is not a speed base activity and either is painting. I think it's wonderful that you could take that quiet breath and center yourself. I feel the patience and serenity in this piece.simplu beautiful, namaste.
ReplyDeletethank you, Lisa, the painting definitely looks better "in the flesh".
ReplyDeleteand thanks, donna. I have to admit that I'm not naturally a patient person, so my entire painting life has been an interesting challenge in that I've always made precise paintings; there's a valuable tension that comes from working against one's nature, I think, at least it's been valuable for me. I hope I can keep up the attentiveness.
I was personally very enriched by this account. Those small parchment artifacts are very compelling to me as is the cross painting. Like you, I keep looking at this book, wanting to let those images speak to me in another language, in another way. For all their simplicity, they don't grow tiresome. Whatever that something is, I feel it.
ReplyDeleteThank you very much, slowmuse; it means a lot to me that you got something from my post. And gee, you like the little practice paintings! I think so many of us respond to the qualities of the Tantric paintings; they have much to teach us.
ReplyDeleteThis post and the prior one on snow somehow seem connected to me. Maybe it is a quality of stillness and detail. Not sure but the snow scenes are gorgeous and this painting is an instant favorite for me. Partly it is the colors but also the three-dimmensonality. It's a quietly assertive image; not pushy but it doesn't let you forget it.
ReplyDeletethanks, Ms. Wis. I can see the relationship that you bring up; I think it's partly from my desire to pay attention to my surroundings, not just to the paint. I'm glad you like the painting.
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